Halftime

   In the whirlwind that has been the end of March and now midway thru April, I stopped for a second to take a breath.  Then it hit me … it’s HALFTIME!  Six months ago I turned thirty nine.  I remember vividly because as someone who is always thinking ahead, I might as well have actually turned forty.  The big four-oh engulfed me.  It was as if I was wading leisurely along a beautiful ocean beach, not paying much attention to how deep I had actually gone when a mighty wave came crashing down upon me.  I bobbed for a bit not knowing which end was up.

 

   I know, I know, we’re only as old as we feel.  Quite honestly if that was the case I’d have no worries, as I truly feel like I’m still a teenager and often wonder how I’m trusted with so many adult responsibilities.  Like molding another human being as a mom, wow is that really happening? 

   In any event, approximately one hundred and eighty days ago I made a plan.  I empowered myself with the idea that age is a privilege, one that sadly, too many people are deprived of.  In that glass half full moment I comprised my list of 40 by Forty.  I promised myself I’d work all year on forty wonderful things to achieve before I reach that impending age.  Thru that this blog was born. 

   I have to say that my first reaction to the realization that six months had already gone by was one of panic.  In true overachiever mode I raced thru my list crossing off what I’d accomplished, hoping that the perfect ratio of twenty tasks done would appear.  It did not.  I’m actually only a quarter of the way.  My stomach turned and my heart raced as a feeling of failure arose.  Thankfully the notion was fleeting.  Looking down at the list and smiling I found myself reveling in the recent memories of things I’d already done.  Some small like enjoying a Harry Potter Marathon with my family.  Some items large like the letter writing campaign to local officials, regarding the poor state of our Health Care System.  Reviewing what I’d done, no matter what percentage, brought me back to the reason I started the process.  It’s about celebrating little mile markers all year long as a testament to my life so far.  No worries, no regrets, just a journey that happens in its own time, in my time.

   So, I sit here writing this today to commemorate halftime.  It’s a gift in itself to reflect.  These past months have given me perspective and the ability not to judge myself, but to enjoy myself.  I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other because I can.  I’m filled with gratitude for every moment that’s led up to this and no matter the final score, I’m glad I choose to play.  The experience isn’t the same from the sidelines.

Questions to ponder:  Are you asking the coach to put you in?  

Are you watching from the stands?  

What goals are you reaching for in life? 

Is anything stopping you? 

You never know what might inspire someone else, so I hope you’ll share.