This morning I dropped my son off at school for his 2nd day of first grade. Walking to his
classroom, he was about ten steps ahead of me and seemed so confident and
independent.
My heart strings tugged
inside my chest and I instinctively held out my hand.
“JJ, don’t you want me to walk you to your classroom?”
“Nah, I got this,” he said with that impish smile I adore.
I smiled back even though my insides were in knots. How could it happen so fast? Just yesterday I was calming his nerves about
going to a new school and today he was ready to do it on his own.
24 hours is all it took.
Well, really six years, right? I
held on a little longer when I hugged him goodbye, and watched a few seconds more
than usual before turning to leave.
On the ride home I thought about my mom friends last year
and how they shared with me how their kids had grown. The sense of independence they’d gained in
first grade and how things shifted a bit in the mom, child dynamic. Time had caught up and it was my little guy
this time around.
Wasn’t it a few weeks ago that I kissed his newborn cheek
for the very first time?
It’s a happy and sad feeling to watch my son grow up. I revel in his achievements big or small and
glow with pride as he triumphs over tying his shoes or sounding out a word in a
book. He’s no longer the baby, the toddler, the
preschooler, dependent on me for so much.
He’s forming his own ideas of the world and his own place within
it.
The changes aren’t easy, but as a parent they happen with
our children, quickly and consistently.
Not a bad thing, but challenging and emotional for sure. My husband and I are blessed to be the
parents of such an amazing little boy and when I separate my heart from my head
for a moment I can see that the confidence he had this morning going into
school is just what we want for him always.
Of course I’ll be there to support him and encourage him
with a reassuring smile. I’ll also hug
him a little longer, watch him a few more seconds from afar and cuddle him for
one more book at bedtime. He’ll notice
or he won’t, but I can do that because I’m his mom and no matter how
independent he gets, I’m so grateful that will never change.
