About Me

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I'm a freelance writer, wife and mother of one from Western Massachusetts. Spending time with my family and having the honor of raising my son together with my husband is where my whole heart is. Just before our son was born we fell in love with the location of a fixer upper lake house and moved in when I was VERY pregnant. We've been renovating ever since. When I'm not writing, filling the roles of wife or mother, I enjoy a relatively new passion, boxing. It's an empowering workout like none I've ever experienced. Watch out for my right cross. I'd love to hear from you. Email me traceywrites@mass.rr.com.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

The 2nd Day of First Grade for Mom



This morning I dropped my son off at school for his 2nd day of first grade.  Walking to his classroom, he was about ten steps ahead of me and seemed so confident and independent.

  

My heart strings tugged inside my chest and I instinctively held out my hand.


“JJ, don’t you want me to walk you to your classroom?”


“Nah, I got this,” he said with that impish smile I adore.


I smiled back even though my insides were in knots.  How could it happen so fast?  Just yesterday I was calming his nerves about going to a new school and today he was ready to do it on his own. 


24 hours is all it took.  Well, really six years, right?  I held on a little longer when I hugged him goodbye, and watched a few seconds more than usual before turning to leave.


On the ride home I thought about my mom friends last year and how they shared with me how their kids had grown.  The sense of independence they’d gained in first grade and how things shifted a bit in the mom, child dynamic.   Time had caught up and it was my little guy this time around. 


Wasn’t it a few weeks ago that I kissed his newborn cheek for the very first time?


It’s a happy and sad feeling to watch my son grow up.  I revel in his achievements big or small and glow with pride as he triumphs over tying his shoes or sounding out a word in a book.  He’s no longer the baby, the toddler, the preschooler, dependent on me for so much.  He’s forming his own ideas of the world and his own place within it.    


The changes aren’t easy, but as a parent they happen with our children, quickly and consistently.  Not a bad thing, but challenging and emotional for sure.  My husband and I are blessed to be the parents of such an amazing little boy and when I separate my heart from my head for a moment I can see that the confidence he had this morning going into school is just what we want for him always. 


Of course I’ll be there to support him and encourage him with a reassuring smile.  I’ll also hug him a little longer, watch him a few more seconds from afar and cuddle him for one more book at bedtime.  He’ll notice or he won’t, but I can do that because I’m his mom and no matter how independent he gets, I’m so grateful that will never change.