Published in Today's Recorder

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Bradley Bartlett-Roche - 11 Year Old Jazz Prodigy

You’re An Adult, Say What You Mean

I have a pet peeve.  Okay, actually a major grievance.  It’s when people want you to do something, but won’t actually come out and say it.  Instead, they dance around or manipulate to get their want across. 

It just so happens that I found myself in one of these situations this past week while on vacation with my family.  Maybe it’s the wisdom of growing a bit older, but for once I was able to put the person in their place.  I have to say it felt pretty darn good.  Here’s what happened.

I was attending a street festival that had a live band performing.  There weren’t any assigned seats, just a free for all, set up your chairs where you’d like and enjoy, atmosphere.  My parents, sister and I found an empty spot and began setting up.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see a woman next to us having a fit.  Now normally I would apologize right away for obstructing her view during the mere moments it took to set up our chairs.  However, this woman was making such a passive aggressive fuss.  Craning her neck and flipping her dirty blond hair, shifting around in her seat, huffing, puffing, rolling her eyes thru dark rimmed glasses and making faces.  Before I could open my mouth to apologize I first had to make sure she wasn’t having some sort of seizure.  Then it dawned on me.  She was upset that we were blocking her view while we set up.  Instantly I became annoyed with her childish behavior and vowed I was not going to apologize for doing something the event allowed for and so many others were doing at that very moment.  She could still hear the music without a problem and the only view we blocked was of an unknown band singing one line of a song.  I mean really, how long does it take to set up four bag chairs?  Just as we finished and were completely out of her way she snapped.

    “Don’t you think it would be a little less crowded down there?”

She pointed toward the open space directly in front of the large stage speaker where of course, no one wanted to sit.  Without skipping a beat I retorted.

   “Sure, why don’t you head on over.”

Maybe it’s the wisdom they talk about coming with age, or maybe it’s all the boxing I’ve been doing that’s given me more confidence, but I wasn’t going to let this woman interfere with my family having a good time. Some of you may think I’m in the wrong, after all she was there first and we were interrupting her viewing experience.  The thing is though, if she had just asked us politely to move, we would have.  I probably would have apologized like I’d planned and all would have been well, no tension at all.  Instead though, this woman chose to make a childish display of annoyance, and a snarky see through comment pretending she was looking out for our best interest.   Really, is this the behavior of a grown woman?

Maybe it’s me, but I tend to think life’s too short not to say what you mean and directly ask for what you want?  That being said, if you can’t be honest and straight forward, as far as I’m concerned, don’t bother opening your mouth.  None of us our mind readers and quite frankly most of us busy moms just want to enjoy the little time we have that’s child free and not have to worry about another person’s needs.  After all, if I had wanted to deal with a ridiculous tantrum I would have stayed home with my five year old. 

Have a similar experience or think I’m looking at this all wrong?  
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