About Me

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I'm a freelance writer, wife and mother of one from Western Massachusetts. Spending time with my family and having the honor of raising my son together with my husband is where my whole heart is. Just before our son was born we fell in love with the location of a fixer upper lake house and moved in when I was VERY pregnant. We've been renovating ever since. When I'm not writing, filling the roles of wife or mother, I enjoy a relatively new passion, boxing. It's an empowering workout like none I've ever experienced. Watch out for my right cross. I'd love to hear from you. Email me traceywrites@mass.rr.com.

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

So, Now We'll Blame Barbie for Childhood Obesity? Really?

   Okay, part of my journey towards turning forty has a lot to do with accepting myself as I am while striving to be the healthiest person I can.  This is not only for myself, but also to set a good example for my family as well.  Guess what?  As a normal human being, I fall short.  I challenge anyone out there to tell me that at some point or other in some way, shape, or form they don't.  The key is picking yourself back up again and continuing to try.  At least that's the lesson I hope my son gleans from me.

  So, when I stumbled upon the debate over whether toy manufacturers should begin making plus sized Barbie dolls I was intrigued.  After all people, women in particular in this case, come in all shapes and sizes right?  Of course we do.  This past year I actually wrote a series about just that entitled the Chubby Girl's Guide.  It pointed out that just as with books, you cannot judge a person by his or her cover.  Complete with expert physician and health professional testimony I proved that just because someone appears to be healthy because they have a thin appearance doesn't mean that they are.  More importantly in this instance, just because someone carries extra weight does not mean they are unfit.  

  Knowing this my blood began to boil as I read comment after comment and blog after blog saying that plus sized Barbie was unacceptable.  Equating the production of a doll with this body type, to encouraging children to be obese.  Basically saying that having an overweight doll on the market tells kids to down fast food and sugar as quickly as they can for as long as they'd like.  Seriously? Am I the only one that sees this mentality to be more harmful than whatever twisted misconception these people are trying to preach?

   Why aren't we asking toy companies to not only make a plus sized Barbie (who incidentally if you haven't noticed I think is great), but to also make dolls that are more representative of who Americans are as a whole?  Isn't such a black and white take on people's appearances like the fictional body type of original Barbie versus the thick body type of plus sized, the kind of thinking that creates harmful stereotypes and discrimination in the first place?  I thought that our goals as responsible adults and parents were to teach acceptance, tolerance and respect for the many, many grey areas that come as simple results of being human.  

   As for the health and well being of our children, well I'm sorry to say that it doesn't come from a dress size.  If we teach our kids to be active and to fuel their bodies properly with the right foods then no matter their size and with a little luck they'll be happy, healthy and feel good in their skin. 
The truth is that America is made up of a variety of body types that run the gamut from what society considers thin to obese.  No one knows why each of us have these different outward appearances.  You may assume, but unless you know for sure it could be healthy diet/unhealthy diet, being active, not being active, slow metabolism, fast metabolism, good old fashioned genetics, an eating disorder and any culmination of the above.  So instead of judging good or bad, right or wrong, the only way we can benefit our children in the long run is to lead by example, do the best we can, accept each other differences and all, and when we do fall short, which I know I will, get back up and try, try, again.

   Whether toy companies decide to make dolls that represent what real people look like or not, one thing is for sure, if we respond negatively to each other's differences pretend or for real, our kids are sure to do the same.  Encouraging them instead, to welcome diversity sets them up to live successful lives and have a positive impact on their communities.  Who knows, that change may come from one little girl saving up her allowance for that plus sized Barbie at the toy store.



Monday, December 30, 2013

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The Day I Turned 39 ...

My eyes blinked open and for a second I didn't remember where I was.  I could feel my husband’s breath on my cheek as he whispered a raspy, version of Happy Birthday in my ear.  Head still on my pillow, I pulled up the covers and rolled into him listening as he finished his serenade.  In a few moments he’d leave for work, my son would wake and we’d go about our normal routine.  Ordinarily that was fine, I was on good terms with life and based on my good fortune, I felt life thought the same.  Yet, today I needed it to be different.  I wanted today to carry some sort of midlife revelation as to how I would spend the next year of my existence. 


The reality was I had entered into this world thirty nine years prior and although I usually didn’t dwell upon age, there was something about spending this last year in my thirties that was weighing on my mind.  I needed to do something different.  Something to mark my presence the way turning forty next year seemed to be marking my mind.  I wasn’t looking for drastic change, just something to say ‘Hey world look what I can do.  I’m pretty fabulous, see?’.  


Starting this very day, I had one year to do something special that would stand out when I looked back in time.


As the number forty rolled around in my head I remembered the concept of a bucket list.  Nah, I thought.  I don’t have one foot in the grave yet, and a year’s time wouldn't allow for elaborate trips or finding courage to sky dive.  No, it had to be something meaningful, yet doable.  I realized slowly as I began to think of things I would be happy to attempt, that turning forty wasn't about grand gestures for me.  Instead, it was a chance to set a series of achievable goals in a short window of time.  A list of fun and challenging things I could play with all year long to commemorate this point in my journey through life.  Forty things to do before I turn forty, there’s nothing ordinary about that.


I started to get excited.  As a mother, wife and daughter whose first notion is to take care of everyone else, my heart danced at the thought of making a list of things I wanted to do.  Right off the bat I set writing goals.


Creating a portfolio of published work began my list at number one.  I’d always envisioned what one would look like, but now that it was on the list I knew I’d have to produce it.  Before I realized it was possible, nine more items flowed from the tip of my pen.  Things like attending a writer’s conference and furthering progress on my memoir.  Ideas poured out of me like my soul had been given some unspoken permission to make dreams come to life.


I stopped myself at ten.  Admittedly, career goals had always come easy and I felt if my 40 by Forty was to really mean something, I had to make it well rounded.  I pondered for a while what made me feel balanced and grounded.  Three more areas I wanted to focus on, my family, spirituality and well being, and good old fashioned fun.  The latter being the theme I tackled next.


Number eleven began with something I truly enjoy, but rarely get to indulge in.  I quickly charted, going to a great concert.  Moving on I wrote simple things that made me happy, but again only happened on rare occasions like dancing with my husband and taking a painting class.  Then I sought to add something adventurous.  Leaning towards the outdoors, I thought about zip lining.  An older friend posted about it online recently and I’d felt a stitch of envy.  Heights aren't usually my favorite, but really it depended on the payoff.  After all I did experience an amazing flight in a hot air balloon once and would not trade that adventure for the world.  The chance to overcome my fear of height once again could provide a great sense of accomplishment and do wonders for my spirit.  So, with butterflies in my belly, I set zip lining in stone and added it to my list.


I chose to focus on family next and erupted with ideas of planned day trips, outdoor adventures, everything from camping to hiking and biking together.  I even included our family dog adding regular visits to the new dog park.  My favorite though was to take my son to the place I grew up in Connecticut and show him the house my grandfather built where we all lived.  As the truest joy in my life, family time would be vast on my journey.  Gratitude washed over me as I wrote down the last of my family intentions.


Spirituality and well-being came as an opportunity to provide for others, make peace with, and really nurture myself.  Things I had always wanted to do or try, but never set as priorities sprung to the forefront of my mind.  Feeling empowered I initiated a pursuit for clean eating and shedding some weight, meditating and writing about difficult times in life to foster healing.  As for my desire to do for others, I’d seen first-hand the difficulties my grandparents faced when trying to navigate health care as they aged.  I set a goal to find someone who could use my help as a healthcare advocate. 


Just like that, a list of forty things that at first seemed a tad overwhelming came to life as did my passion for the next year of my being.  In the time it took for me to awake, hear my husband sing happy birthday and realize I needed to do something different, I had.  It did take a week or so to complete my list, but the real change happened in the moment I decided to do it.  I look forward to crossing off every number and living the journey I’ve laid out for myself.  Hopeful that it aligns with what the universe has in store.  So, bring it on life.  My next stop is forty and I welcome that milestone with hope, passion, exuberance and little bit of tushy kickin’ attitude.